Dear occam....

once again its 1 a.m on a night shift and i sit here in this musty old doctors office...my refuge haven from the bickering nurses on the cardiothoracic ward, who get concerned about each and every thing that changes in the patients status, hoping for some peace and quiet. evry night ..or morning..i come into this office hoping to spend some quality time..studying..and evry one of these times i end up justifyng to myself why i should go to sleep right now, before the bleep goes off again. there is a constant struggle between my conscience and my alter ego, like something out of a tom & jerry cartoon, where the devil and the angel sit on either of the shoulders of tom or jerry, and convince them into doing something. the only good part about this violent tete-a- tete is the fact that i always win. every night before sleeping i plan the next morning down to the last second so i can optimise this "studying time" of mine. and evryday the plan goes awry..and everyday i return for another night duty..and sit in this musty old doctors office..and dive into the "argument"...everyday..every fucking day!

the exam draws nearer. evry exam i sit i hope wil be approached in a way better than the way we approached exams in college. but with every passing exam its the same story..sometimes even worse. and surprising part is that i have passed each and everyone of them...yet feel i should have studied more. same debate this time as well.

anyway ending my nights tomorrow. hoping to put my head down and study hard over the weekend. but again knowing me...i might mess it up as well. does this ever happen to you?