am i?..am i not?

today after a long time i finally got myself to start applying again. hesitancy has always been my problem. epecially when it comes to an ardous, derogatory task like applying for jobs.
its not the monotonous rigmarole of the actual application that bothers me, its feeling of self doubt which enters me when 200 job applications on a trot fail to get me a job interview. i know the situation is competitive but hey c'mon. i have a decent, well worked on c.v. i admit its not striking. its just above average. enough to keep me from being jobless..but not enough to get me a job that i want.
during the first two jobs i kept consoling myself by questioning various parts of my c.v. sometimes i felt the courses wernt enough, sometimes the audits wrent upto the mark. either way it was one thing or another i kep blaiming. when all along i merely needed to rethink my outlook towards this job appplication business. i needed to be more aggressive..rather than just keep trying to alter my c.v everytime and then hope for the best.
all this bred in me a deep feeling of self doubt. this just kept gnawing at me. and eventually affecting my performance at work.
however this time around i intend to make changes. i intend to go out and happen to things rather than wait for things to happen to me. i had a senior at my old worklplace who said to me- make sure u at least get into the stadium to be able to compete in the race. it had a deeper meaning this talk of his. use any means available to atleast be shorrtlisted for an interview...then then the race between qualifications begins.
hopefully this time whether i get a job or not i hope at least i shall be able to wipe out the feelings of self doubt from my conscience, after having it my complete best. no longer should i be plagued by the qustion of am i.....am i not good enough for this competitive world?